For the Long Lost Writer

It's me again.


I have not been welcomed by the familiar glow of a text post in a very long time; about a year, to be exact. However, today I was welcomed by a very kind message from a very kind person...

Although I haven't updated my blog recently, it is still helping people find their way out there in this big world. For this, I believe I must continue to write, even if only this one person benefits from it.

To begin my first entry of 2015 (wow, it's been so long...) I'd like to explain how I've been feeling lately. This question has been gnawing at me recently, and I must write to find the answer to it.

 Do we ever really come home from extended travel? 

In the past year, so many wonderful things have happened to me. I have moved between states, experienced life, met amazing people. But sometimes I feel like I am floating; somewhere else. It almost feels like I am in a dream but cannot wake. My body may be here, yet my mind is in new places; yearning for more.

It is no secret that I miss Denmark, but this feeling that is beginning to grow deep in my stomach, this feeling that is taking root in my heart and spreading through my veins, is new. For the longest time, I have not been able to identify it. Yet here, while I'm sitting at some coffee shop in Laramie, Wyoming, I finally realize it.

It is the feeling of adventure, of wanting to start new. There have been many changes in my life recently. My heart must know this. Therefore it wants more, it needs it. Is this normal? Maybe. But for those who know me, you know that I have never exactly been one to follow the norm. So, DO we ever really come back?

No.

Part of my soul still lives among the rolling hills and countryside of Denmark. But that is a consequence of becoming a world citizen. We leave part of ourselves behind, and this is not a bad thing. We are ever-changing, always growing, always finding new people to love, new places to live, new experiences to devour.

Along with this desire for travel that I have been feeling, I have also had lots of time to write. Continue reading if you'd like to find out about what else has been happening in my life recently.

For the Long Lost Writer.... She's Back & Pursuing Her English Degree

Lately I have been writing poetry, and lots of it. I should probably be writing my research paper for my English 1010 class, but my hands crave the familiarity of the smoothness that always settles itself in the pages of my journal. It's this feeling I get deep in my bones after I finish a poem, almost like I can taste every individual word...

I've been cranking out poems like it's my job. Hopefully, one day it will be. I've been working on a few pieces for my portfolio, some I've even submitted for publishing. They always say that you find yourself in college, and maybe I have. But I'd like to credit my self-discovery to my poems. I live inside them, they are me; fully encompassing every part of my personality.

As mentioned in the title, I am pursuing my English degree, and I'm also tacking on a minor in Creative Writing. I want to use my hobby to help fuel my career, no matter how many confused looks I receive when I tell people what my major is. It's always accompanied by the same dull and insensitive questions: "Aren't you worried that you'll make no money?" "What would you even do with a major like that?" "Shouldn't you look into a more practical major? Like engineering or maybe even nursing?"

I laugh at these questions; usually to myself for the sake of being polite. What they don't know is that I have a burning desire, a passion so great that only this one thing; only writing can tame it.

I may be a mediocre writer, but hell, it makes me happy so I'll continue to ramble, rant, however you choose to look at it. I'll continue even when no one reads my work anymore, because it's what I was meant to do.  It satisfies me, and that's all that matters. It comes so naturally, that it would be a shame if I stopped. As Hemingway once said, "There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."

If any of you out there have the patience to read my work, go for it. I'm laying it all out there in the open, something I haven't done in a long time. I have to say, it's more fulfilling than I could have imagined.

So here it is.
For the restless, for the sane,
For whoever, wherever you are.
Feel free to read, enjoy...

"The Runner" 

i wanted to set fire 
to my roots
watch them burn
and scatter the ashes
across beaches
and hotel suites

i was never the kind 
to settle 
but rather 
to run at any sight 
of a setting sun

i chased a night
which did not belong to me

i cradled the moon
soft against burning flesh
soothing to my soul

i ladled constellations
into parts of my heart
that waited in desperation 
wanting more
needing more

i wrapped myself up
in unchartered skies 
ebony black
dreading 
the morning sun


- Dedicated to all of you out there who crave adventure, a change of pace, something new.
You're not alone :)


xoxo,
Mars

Finally Home

The last time I posted on my blog I was a distressed teen that had just come home from one of the most challenging, awarding, interesting years of her life. I am sitting here, almost 4 months later, with a whole different outlook. For some of you, it might seem strange the transition I went through. I might have seemed distant, confused, odd. But it was all a part of who I became; the healing process. If anyone is interested, I'll briefly describe this long process, this transition back into American life in the different phases I went through, so you can better understand what exchange students essentially have to go through.

• Land of the Free? Yeah, Okay...

First of all, my rage against society was off the wall. I was upset with the way we do things; the way we perceive people, our judgement of others, materialism. I was convinced that all our culture cared about were things that I found unneeded, and honestly a waste of time. Now I see I was being a bit to cynical, and that Europe is not perfect. The grass isn't always greener on the other side, but in my clouded mind, everything and anything was better than here.

• From a Million to One

Another thing that I had to deal with when I got home was the lack of support I felt. Sometimes it felt that no one was listening; no one wanted the hear about the amazing experience I had just had. I had made all these amazing friends in Denmark, and then suddenly it was all ripped away and I was stuck back in a place where I honestly just didn't want to be. Sure, there were people who reached out to me, and I'm so thankful for that. But to my selfish mind, it wasn't okay for people who I truly thought were there for me to not want to hear about everything Danish. Now I understand that my thought process was a bit selfish. Yes, Europe was amazing. Yes, maybe it would have been nice to have a few more people that stood by me. But in the year I was away, other people had a life, too. Amazing things happened to them and it wasn't right for me to expect them to listen to my triumphs when I hadn't listened to theirs. Of course, I need to take the time to publicly thank the few who stuck around even when they should have ran... very, very far from me during frustrating times. Sarah, even from thousands of miles away, you've been there to listen through all hours of the night. You are my best friend, my rock, and my sister. I am so thankful I met you in that bathroom! :) Shelby, you are an absolute peach for taking me in and staying by me/supporting my decisions no matter what. You have a beautiful soul and I am so thankful for you. To both my real sister, Ali, and my host sister, Duda from Brazil, thanks for making me laugh, for dancing your way into my heart, and showing me that family means everything. Also, a special, special thanks to Nathan, because after all we've been through, you've picked me up and never let me go. You've seen me at my worst, yet still treat me like I'm at my best. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you, but you have touched my heart and wrote yourself into the very seams of my being. And last but certainly not least, thank you to my parents for raising me to be who I am. Thank you for holding me when I cry, for giving me confidence even when I was at the lowest of the low, and loving me no matter what I do to defy that. I love every single one of these people for who they are, what they've done for me, and what they have taught me about myself. 

• School Shmool 

A year of being away from American High School changes a person. But it's coming back that tests that change more than anything. In Denmark, I had the freedom to use the bathroom without a pass, to leave school without a note, and the opportunity to buy REAL food at school (unlike the cafeteria sludge they serve at most American High Schools). I had a choice for everything I did at school. Of course I had to deal with the consequences of these choices, but at least I was bestowed the trust to do so. When I got home, school felt like a prison. I thought that I was being dictated over the silliest things: "Oh, I can't use the bathroom right now? But why?" "I have to have parent consent to leave school even though I am almost an adult, I can drive, AND I have a job?" "What do you mean I have to have a pass? I'm just trying to get to class to learn!" School was overwhelming and not to my taste. I wish I could say that I have adjusted to this completely, but sadly, I have not.... I am getting better though!

• There May Just Be a Happy Ending 

The struggle to fit in, adjust back to my life here, find who I am, and try to become a full-fledged adult as been rough on me. Sometimes I felt like I was in the deepest rut; stuck in a place that was thousands of miles away in my twisted

reality. It has taken 4 months, a published poem, an internship offer, college applications, good people and some confidence to finally feel like I am present in Alaska. I now feel clarity; I feel that a giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I am off to bigger and better things soon, and I couldn't be happier. 

• So.... Where Does the Road Lead?

As I mentioned, two major things have recently happened that have changed my life around.

1. My poem "Coffee" (which can be seen in my last post) was chosen as a topical winner for the Live Poets Society of NJ competition that was held in the Fall of 2014. When I submitted my poem in September, I wasn't even thinking it was possible to win because it was open to all High School students in America... the competition level seemed way too high. To my surprise, the judges contacted me and told me that my poem had been selected to appear in the Just Poetry magazine for teens under the "Of Love and Dedication" category. The magazine is scheduled to appear Dec. 15, 2014. I am beyond excited!
2. I was offered an internship in LA with the one and only Erin Gruwell from the Freedom Writers and The Freedom Writers Foundation. She came up to Alaska to speak to the Matsu Valley about how important building connections and offering inspiration to children can help change their lives for the better. My father is a Freedom Writers teacher through the foundation, so they have known each other since around 2007. Erin came over to our house for dinner during her stay in Alaska, and we instantly hit it off. She is amazing; a true inspiration that catches your attention and your heart. She is one of those people that humanity often talks about: she is a rare soul that aims to improve quality of life for anyone and everyone she meets, no matter what the cost or benefit. Anyway, her assistant Grace mentioned to me about doing an internship with her this summer in LA, where I can see and experience all that they do for the education system in America. If all goes well, I'll be heading down to sunny Cali to develop my skills I hope to use to acquire my English major, and to also feed this passion to learn from an inspiration such as Erin herself. 

So there you have it; the last 4 months in a nutshell. As I'm finishing this post, I am honestly wondering if anyone bothers to read this anymore.. If you've gotten this far, you have just learned everything that goes on in my mind and in my life. I hope that this information is rewarding to some, and helpful to others. It is a way for me to get my thoughts out, because I always feel better and am able to think clearer when I can see the written word silently forming in front of me. It is calming; soothing to the madness that sometimes occurs inside my mind. Thank you for reading, feel free to contact me if you have any questions about me, my poem, or anything else for that matter. As I always say, exchange taught me to tolerate and accept everyone; no matter who they are. Your opinion matters, YOU matter. Just in case any of you forgot :)

xoxo stay tuned for more coming SOOON

For the Sleepless Ones

This post is not about exchange, or anything in particular really. I'm having one of those days that goes by slow; the kind that consumes you until you lose track of time and can't even register where you are anymore. Maybe it's because I still feel a little lost; not really knowing what I'm meant to be doing all the time. Or maybe it's because thoughts of familiar and unfamiliar places stir up my mind until I can no longer think. Whatever it is, it's got me in the mood to write. It's got me in the mood to share the deepest corners of my mind. Hunger of what I do not have: it's a powerful thing. It's got me up at all hours, reading, writing poetry, watching old films about places I've never even heard of. Maybe you'd enjoy a poem I've written, maybe not. But at least it'll be here; seen. You can drink up my words if you wish, let it settle. Decode it's meaning; for there are thousands of possibilities of what it could be. Even I do not know the real cause.. Like so many things in life it is unknown, not shown, but there, somewhere.


Coffee

you were black,
soulless;
round
around the edges,
coffee stained
pages

I cradle you
in my hands,
bring you up
to my lips
contemplate.
breathe you in,
only for a second

but you scold my tongue,
keep me wordless
burnt,
bottomless
like the coffee
you drink

day after day
I wake you

make you
crave me
yearn
for just another sip

a sip of what?
the unknown,
endless mystery

you stir me up
but just a bit
you drink me in,
then I'm gone

like your
morning coffee.


- Mariana Marvel, 2014

inspired by coffee shops in London & those rainy days that aren't really weather related at all

For the Love & the Loss

The last time I opened up my blog was in May. Not to say that I haven't thought about it. I will get random thoughts that I ache to write somewhere; maybe here. I feel like this is a lost art; something I used to love so much but got tired of.  I've even tried writing posts about the countries I traveled to this summer. I'll get about a half a page into it and then all inspiration leaves me. I have about 4 drafts saved, none published. What does that tell you about me? Lots. Let me explain:


I have been home for 1 month and 5 days. I stepped off that plane and almost turned right back around. There is so much to say, so much I want someone, anyone, to know. How do you truly ever leave a place? I feel clouded, foggy even. I've been in school for less than 2 weeks and I'm already driving myself into the depths of insanity wishing I could get out. I came home to a loving family and a few good friends who were full of questions. But as the days dwindled on, so did the memory of Denmark. People don't ask. They figure since I have been home so long that maybe I have forgotten too. But I haven't. It's all I am these days: stories mixed with the extreme desire to get back to what I feel I have lost.

I am a ghost. Stuck between two places: here and Denmark. I think back to the person I was. I see her clothes in  my closet, all of her favorite hobbies and past times. I live in her bedroom, I surround myself with her peers. That is still me, yet in some way it is not. The challenges I have faced changed the way I view things. I am no longer scared of the unknown, but rather so desperate to plunge into its' depths. I cannot pretend that I am completely happy in this town that lives and dwells between the mountains. I am slightly content in the simplest of terms; and so grateful for my friends and family. But when I am alone, my mind explodes with wonder. With hope; hope that someday I will once again be able to see colored houses resting upon rolling hills, the Danish countryside forever etched in the corners of my mind. Those of you who know me know how much I have been struggling lately. Thank you for checking up on me, dealing with my intense longing for a place you have never seen. Thank you for holding me as I cry for people who you have never met. For showing up at all hours of the day to watch my favorite movies and listen to my ramblings. I could tell the same story 20 times and it would still be alright for those of you closest to me. You have made me realize how precious time is, yet how evil it is also. We as human beings are made up of time. An internal clock that ticks each time we take a breath, each time we whisper, move even an inch. Thank you a thousand times over for sharing your time with me; tiding me over until the day my time comes to return to my beautiful, sought-after Denmark.

this one's for you, gaga x2

keep wandering.

Letting Go

Anyone who truly knows me, knows that I love to write. Maybe it is a little cliché, but it always helps me to think clearly after I've written..

Sometimes when I'm having a particularly hard time, I write about my feelings.. Being an exchange student entitles one to high emotions. All the new people, places, routines, the thought of goodbyes (maybe even forever) looming in the distance. It's all things I know well. I make it seem that all the people I've met this year have been amazing, and I will admit that more than half of them have been. But in life isn't all smiles, there are hard times. There are people who you simply just don't belong with, and that's something that I've always known. But being away in a different country has really taught me the complexity of it all. Yes, there will be people that hurt you, and everyone who you'll probably ever meet will tell you to just forget about them. But is it really that easy to forget? Is the human mind really meant to forget? I've learned many things about myself, but lately the most important thing I've learned is  how my mind works.  I really take everything in my life to the heart, even the bad. Some may tell you to focus on only the positive things that are happening, but for me it doesn't work that way. Something in the back of my head always tells me to hold on, even to the negative. As much as I try, I cannot erase the challenges. They are there, taunting me and waiting for my next move.. So my dear readers, let me ask you this: Are we meant to forget all the times we've felt homesick, alone, tired? Where would we be if we hadn't felt the longing for home or some other comfort? We're not perfect; so why do our days have to be perfect as well?

It's time to let go of the doubts that you're not living everyday to the fullest just because you didn't have the best day. So here I am, letting go. Maybe you should, too. We are here, we are breathing, there's a world to explore and we have the feet to take us there. As the summer draws closer, the need for simplicity becomes greater. Here's a little hello from the simpler side of me; happy and letting go.

(for those of you want to hear about my exchange adventures, please stay tuned.. I promise a post is coming soon!)

xoxo

Spring in Denmark

It seems just like yesterday that I was sitting down trying to think of what to write about back in March… it always amazes me how fast time goes by when you're busy.

So much has happened in the beautiful month of April… tragedy, loss, growth, memories, flowers, walks on the beach, friends and family. It's been an interesting time for me, but it has shown me a new side of myself I have never seen.


On March 16th, I moved into my final host family's house. It was slightly  stressful to pack  because the amount of stuff I have accumulated is outrageous and unbelievable. The move went well, but I couldn't help but feel this weird sort of silence that I always feel when I switch host families.. It reminds me of the calmness one feels before a huge storm. Deep in my heart I know that that chapter of my life is over, and that even if I come back to the same house, and the same people, it won't be the same as it once was. It's just little things; like the way the kitchen looks in the morning; dark but with the faint light of  winter gleaming from outside. Coming back in the spring is completely different. That same  morning light shines through, but it's earlier and brighter than before, and therefore it shows you things the morning has never offered you in the past. It's all wrong. It doesn't match my memory.. but memories are memories, and even though things change, my memories will always be the same.


The first week at my new host family was really good. I got settled in and started trying to make a routine for myself. Things were mostly normal, except that my host dad's mom was in the hospital. No one paid much mind to it, because we all just assumed it would be okay. But as it so often goes, assumptions are not always right.. Every time we visited her she seemed to get smaller and smaller. She was the sweetest women; always bright eyed even when she was in that hospital bed. I think that's why it was so startling to see her in that deep sleep; dreaming in the ICU with all those machines chattering and cold air pricking warm skin. Every night my host dad would come home and we'd all say "She'll be okay." It became second nature to say it; a safety net that we clung to in hope that things would just be normal again. Unfortunately, it didn't turn out that way. She was taken too early, and even though she wasn't my blood relative and I had only been living with them for 3 weeks when it happened, I felt the loss as if it were my own to feel. It's incredible what death does to people. I believe it can either bring out the good or the bad in a person's character, and I was lucky enough to encounter the first. After what happened, I think we all sort of relied on each other. My host mom, host dad and I. I think it was around that time that I started calling them Mor og Far (mom and dad). It was a shame that the world lost her, but I feel that often death offers something in return. Even though it's small and can never amount to the love that my host grandma gave, it is something none the less. It's different for everyone, but for me, it was the relationship I gained with my host family. I can honestly say we have a strong bond now, because I have seen what they are like when things are at the lowest point. Challenging times show what someone is really like, and I am so lucky and proud to say that my host parents are both so strong, genuine and kind.


During the Easter Break, my two friends Andrew and Holly came to visit me. They are also exchange students in Denmark, from New York and Nevada. It was so great to see them! We went exploring in Aarhus, found a traveling circus with elephants, visited an art museum and a World War 2 bunker left by the Germans in my town. Having them visit me was just another beautiful reminder of all the wonderful lifelong friends I have made this year.

I also got the opportunity to go on a sailing trip with one of the other exchange students in my town. Her name is Milly and she's from New Zealand, and she is absolutely lovely. Her host family took us out on their little sail boat, and we sailed to this little island called Endenlaven…. There were only about 180 people living there, and the rest of the island's inhabitants were rabbits. (so many!). We were blessed with beautiful weather. The sun was shining the whole time, and I am happy to say I got a little tan! :) Milly and I walked around the island, picked daisies near the beach, took pictures and then went back to the boat and talked and soaked up the sun. Later we went to dinner with her host family, were we ate traditional Danish food and encountered a drunk old woman who desperately wanted to bring her cat into the restaurant.. She was not too happy when the owner declined her wishes. That night, I saw the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen. It was like cotton candy, and I wanted nothing more than to wrap myself in it's pink softness and take a long nap. It hung over the sea like a blanket, and stayed there for a surprising long time. It was like it didn't want to leave us; like the setting sun needed our company just as much as we needed it. After that we spent the night in the boat, where Milly and I talked until late in the night. I've decided Milly is just the best, and I am so happy I got to share that experience with her.

Spring in Denmark has been so lovely. The air is getting warmer, the sun stays out longer, and the flowers are starting to bloom one at a time. Summer is almost here; you can feel it. There's a sort of excitement that wasn't here before, the kind that washes over you in the best way. Will I ever be able to express just how happy and thankful I am to live in this glorious place? Maybe not, but I know in my heart that it's true, and that's good enough for me at the moment.

Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for a post about Spain and my birthday adventures. I should have it up in the next couple days :)


xoxo from Denmark

Halfway Home

Hello beautiful people,



It's been about a month since I last checked in (4 weeks to be exact), so I thought I'd fill you in on my life as of lately.


First of all, I should address the looming questions that keeps getting thrown at me and how I feel about them.

"Have you picked your return date yet?"
"What day would you like to return?"
"Whoa, only 4 months left! You scared?"


"No"
"Never"
"Is this even a valid question?... Of course!"


My sixth months in Denmark has come and gone, and I am quickly approaching the dreaded 7 month mark. The thought of it is more terrifying than anything I have ever encountered before. There are multiple reasons for my fear. 1. It means I have to go home. 2. Going home means leaving all my wonderful friends and my three families. 3. Danish is a pretty cool language, and I know for a fact that not many people speak it in Alaska.. which makes me sad.

So there you have it. The three, boldly marked reasons why I have nightmares about plane tickets and return dates. Of course I am looking forward to seeing my family and friends, but I feel a bit torn. I am living in a world right now where I am (for the most part) independent, able to make my own (smart) decisions, and most importantly, spending every day in a completely different culture than I was brought up in ( which I LOVE). The thing that scares me most attaining the ability to somehow mash these two worlds together: 16 year old Mari who wears denim jeans everyday and still relies on Mom to cook something for her,
and almost 17 year old Mari (yes, that's really happening) who has adopted many of her own character traits/different styles simply because living abroad has challenged her to do so, and who cooks dinner every Tuesday night for the family. Is that even possible?

I know what you're thinking: I should probably just forget about all this and appreciate the moments I have left.. but it's coming sooner than I think I realize. I hope that sometime between now and July 20th (the dreaded estimated return date; because "never" isn't actually marked on the calendar.. Weird, right?) I can somehow wrap my head around all this and find a way to have some peace of mind.


Anyway, my life has been pretty busy. I spend a lot of my time with the lovely Sarah Aaen, doing various things like sophisticatedly sipping carmel macchiatos in the city, casually blowing all our money on clothes we want but probably don't need, watching romantic comedies until we fall asleep, and basically just spending as much time as we can soak up before I leave. I am so lucky to have found my best friend on exchange, and I refuse to think about having to go a day without seeing her. I am actually secretly contemplating trying to fit her in my suitcase.. but more on that later.

Besides spending time with Sarah, I also play basketball with a coed team in Silkeborg. It's just for fun, but it's also been really fantastic because I have been able to meet a lot of great people from it.

I mentioned above that I have to cook every Tuesday night for my host family. I am very grateful for that because it has taught me so much! I now feel comfortable enough to cook for more people than just myself, which I'm sure my mom will love when I get home.

Speaking of my host family, I switch families for the last time this weekend. Yet another realization of just how fast this year is going by…. When I look back to when I changed host families last time, I feel like I am looking into someone else's life. How could that be me? I feel so different now. I know I have changed so much; grown in fact. And I can't thank all the people who have been here for me enough for that. My three wonderful host families, class 1t (especially the beautiful Juline), the other lovely exchange students, my Rotary club, and various other great people I have encountered these past months. I guess I should just enjoy these moments.. what else can I do?

Thanks for reading

xoxo fra Danmark

Change

It's me again,


This post won't necessarily be about the events of this past week, but more of a comfort to me and my struggles. You see, writing makes me feel so much better, and it helps to lay out exactly what I am thinking. What am I thinking about now? Change.



Someone very close to me told me yesterday that I have changed. It made me question whether change is a good thing or bad thing.. The way it was told to me to me yesterday was that it was a bad thing. Changing from my old self into what I am today.. I am a different girl than I was 5 months ago. My opinions are different, the way I think is different. But is that really a bad thing? Do I really think that the "old me" is better than who I am today?

The answer is no.

I have realized that there is no 'old me' or a 'new me'… I am still Mari, I have just grown up. I voice my opinions now, I am not afraid to tell people what's on my mind. I have learned to communicate my feelings in a way that most people can appreciate and understand. I have learned to accept others' differences, and I have even taken on learning a completely new language; to become a part of another culture. Why do we always think change is a bad thing? Change is inevitable. Just look at the clothes you wore a year ago. Do you still wear them? Is your hair the same? Your house? I bet there is something different. Added or lost, it is still change. There is no way around it, so the best thing to do is accept that things will never be exactly the same as they were. We as human beings are a changing species; that's the way it's always been and always will be. Look at the good that's come with change. We as a whole are more open minded than we were a 100 years ago. We are (for the most part) a more accepting race, and therefore the world is a better place to live in. One thing that exchange has taught me is that you have to roll with the punches. Nothing is good or bad; just different.  Yes, I've changed. And so have you. I love who I am, flaws and all. Going on exchange was the best  decision I have ever made, and if it's changed me, then so be it. Never again will I think any type of change is a bad thing.. No matter what has happened, it makes you who you are, and there is always the same amount (or maybe even more) room for positive change than negative change. If there's anyone out there reading this right now, I hope you're reminded that no one can use 'you've changed' to put you down. Don't take it negatively; because it is true. Take it as a compliment, because chances are you're more wise and experienced in life than you were a year ago.

I have six more months in Denmark, and I bet you anything that I will grow from now until then. And you know what? I'm excited to see what these months will turn me into. I am ready to embrace the changes that will occur.. And I will know all the while that only I can decided whether it is good or bad.


So here's to change.

Thanks for reading 

xoxo fra Danmark

Oh, Nostalgia..

hej igen,


This last week was officially my 5 months in Denmark.. that means that half of my exchange is over. How can this be? It seems just like yesterday I was finding out my country…


I think this is rather fitting to talk about because the new outbound exchange students from my district back home are getting ready to find out their countries for this next year. Looking back, I feel so much different than I used to be.

I remember sitting in my polka dot dress, nervously twisting the ring on my finger wondering where I could possibly end up in the year 2014. Well, here I am in the glorious country that is Denmark, and I can honestly tell you I never want to leave. Personally,  I know I have changed. I believe I have become more openminded and adventurous, and of course more independent. Where would I be without Denmark? I could well possibly be back in Palmer, Alaska, doing the same old things I've always done; the only difference being that I would be just a little older.

But instead, I am speaking a language I had actually never heard spoken until a year ago. I wouldn't be riding trains, traveling to different countries like Sweden and Germany with 3 families that will now always be a  part of my heart. It is incredible to me how fast these 5 months have gone by… I have already made life long friends, been through my fair share of struggles and funny adventures, and there is still 6 months to do more. For now I guess I'll just have to take it day by day, savoring each moment to its' fullest extent.

I guess it is really true that going on exchange is not a year in your life, but a life in a year. I firmly believe this now, and I will cherish all the amazing times of my exchange with every part of myself.

Enough of all this nostalgia; it's only January! Now I would like to tell you a little about my plans for my remaining months in Denmark.

My friend Sarah (yes, I think I've written about her before) have made a list of things we want to do together before I leave. They are just typical things; like watching certain movies, taking a beach trip in the summer, etc., but I know they will be special because they will be spent with someone who I fully believe is my long lost sister :).

Along with the list, I will be taking a series of lovely trips around Europe! For instance, I will be going on a trip to Spain on my birthday (April 23rd for those of you who don't know) for 4 days with my Spanish class from school. I am really excited! I have wanted to go to Spain for sometime because of it's rich, exotic culture, which makes it seem extremely appealing. Plus, it makes it that much better because it will be on my birthday :)

I will also be going on EuroTour with my Rotary district in Denmark on May 23rd. I believe there will be about 40 exchange students participating, and we will take a bus for 3 weeks all throughout Europe. I know for a fact that this will be one of the most amazing experiences of my life because we are traveling to not only some of the biggest cities in Europe, but the smaller ones as well. I think this is very important because there is often just as much history and culture in the small cities as the big cities, but you could never know that until you visit them. I have included a map of the route we are taking so you can see where we will be visiting.

EuroTour and my trip to Spain aren't for another 4 months or so, so until then I will continue to live happily and blissfully in Denmark :) Until next time!

xoxo fra Danmark

Danish Holidays

Hej,
Min Juleferie i Danmark var meget sjov og hyggelit! Jeg bare slap af, spise, og sover. Det var rigtig fint. Så nu jeg skal fortælle jer alle om min dansk Jule og Nytår! Er du klar? :)

Hi,
My Chirstmas vacation in Denmark was very fun and cozy! I just relaxed, ate, and slept. (Not to mention, enjoyed all the many wonderful Danish traditions). It was really great. So now I will tell you about my Danish Christmas and New Years! Are you ready? :)




To be completely honest, Christmas is probably one of the best times to be in Denmark. The Danes go CRAZY over Christmas. Essentially, Christmas starts in the beginning of October. And since there is no Thanksgiving to kick the holidays off, Christmas sort of just appears out of nowhere… You can see it arrive day by day; the hanging of Christmas lights, the smell of roasting almonds in the street (too bad I'm allergic!) and of course, all the manic Christmas shoppers that fill the store up to the point of exploding. I wouldn't even dare to venture into the city during the arrival of Christmas unless you are fully prepared to nudge your way through crowds of overexcited Danes. I know what you're probably thinking: "Well, that's how Christmas is in America! What's so special?" There are so many things that make a Danish Christmas special and most certainly unique.

Much to my surprise, Santa does not exist in Denmark. :( Yes, you see him in the windows of store shops, and maybe on a few Christmas cards here and there, but that is only because of the English influence that exists in Denmark. It is not a tradition that Santa comes to your house during the night and leaves presents. Instead, they have a Nisse.


Definition of a Nisse: a small, elf like person that wears a red (usually pointed) hat and red pants. A nisse often lives in your attic, and he leaves presents each day for young children until Christmas. As you get older however, the nisse only leaves you 4 presents; one for each Advent Sunday until Christmas.

Since I have never experienced a Danish Christmas before, my nisse was kind enough to leave me a present every day. I got little things like Christmas decorations, candy, and a Christmas cd. Usually my nisse would leave my gifts on the stairs or outside my door. It was a really neat tradition to take part in, because I had never seen anything like it before. My host parents even bought me a Nisse doll, and it would lay there with my presents every time I received a new one.

For one, as much as they all love Christmas, the tree doesn't go up until December 23rd, always. This is because it's a real tree, and most people don't want it to die before Christmas. (On that note, I think I should tell you that I almost gave anyone who asked a heart attack when I told them we have a fake tree for Christmas. It is practically unheard of in Denmark!) Another really strange thing some Danes do is after Christmas (usually on New Years), they take their dying Christmas tree and put it on their neighbors porch or hang it on their flag pole.. Don't ask me why they do this, because frankly I have no idea, and most Danes can't even explain it themselves!

Christmas is celebrated on the evening of the 24th, instead of the morning of the 25th. This year, I woke up to a glorious breakfast of "American Pancakes" on the 24th. We also had a nice lunch, and then went to church for the Christmas service at about 4. The church we went to was something like 800 years old. It was quite small, but beautiful all the same and also packed full of history. After church, we went home, where I helped prepare Christmas dinner. It is tradition to either have duck, often with potatoes, red cabbage, and gravy. Then we had a sort of rice pudding for desert with a cherry sauce on top. This is also VERY Danish! It is made with finely chopped almonds, but there is also one whole almond that is placed somewhere in the bowl. Whoever finds it gets a prize! Since I am allergic to nuts, my host family was kind enough to make me a separate bowl without any. I wasn't able to participate in the "search for the almond" but it was really fun to watch! After dinner, we all gathered together around the Christmas tree. Following the Danish Christmas traditions, we took each others hands and started to dance around the tree in a circle. To add to the festivities, we also sang Danish Christmas carols. Each person in the family was able to pick their favorite, and everyone had to sing it together as we circled the tree. I know hoe crazy this must sound to those of you who are reading this.. When I was first told that everyone does this at Christmas, I honestly thought it was a joke! But after having done it, I can say it was actually pretty fun, and it made me feel like I was a part of the family.

Finally, at about 9:30 P.M, we were able to open the presents! I would like to thank everyone for all the wonderful gifts I got this year. I really wasn't expecting much, but I was pleasantly surprised at how many people thought about me over the holidays. Even a little card wishing me a Merry Christmas was amazing for me. Also, a special thanks to all my host families. They really made me feel apart of each family. Not to mention the well-thought out gifts they gave me. I am so thankful to have 3 amazing families who care about me.


New Years

 New Years in Denmark is not really family orientated. It is usually spent with close friends. Saying that, I am very lucky to have Sarah in my life. She has been there for me since I arrived in Denmark, and I know that she will continue to be. I think it is really nice to have a friend like Sarah because she is Danish, but she has also lived in the USA. That way I can learn more about Danish culture while also having a bit of connection based on the fact we both grew up in America. Not to mention she is just so sweet :)

Anyway! I am getting of task. To start the New Years off right, Sarah invited me to her friends house to have a nice dinner and watch the fireworks. We also watched the Queen's New Years speech on TV; another Danish tradition everyone follows. I was pleasantly surprised at how nice the evening was! The food was great, and so were the people. I couldn't have had a better way to start 2014.

To end this festive post, I have decided to list a few of my New Years resolutions for 2014. They include: 

• Speak only  Danish at home
• Speak more Danish in general
• Appreciate every moment in Denmark
• Keep trying new things 
• KEEP SMILING 
• Try my hardest to get through the hard times
• Be Danish ;)

Well, that's about all for now. I will keep you updated on how my resolutions are going! But just so you know, I am determined to follow through with all of them :)

xoxo fra Danmark

Berlin

Hi all,

It has been a very eventful month… That is why I haven't posted in so long. To cover everything I have been doing in the past month, I have decided to do multiple posts about December in Denmark and my whereabouts.  In this post I'll focus on my trip to Berlin that happened near the beginning of December.

As some of you may know, my second host family took me to Berlin, Germany, for four days. It was a "Piger Tur" which means it was a girls' trip! Only my host mom, my two host sisters and I went. It was a lot of fun! We packed as much as we possibly could into those four days.. I was mentally and physically exhausted, but in the very best kind of way.

We did plenty of site seeing in the four days that we were there. We saw all the major attractions; Brandenburg Castle, the Reichstag, the Holocaust Memorial, the remnants of the Berlin Wall, and a museum called The Story of Berlin. It is almost impossible to describe to you the beauty of Berlin... it is so full of history, and yet there is a new, upbeat feel you get when you walk among the streets. One of the things I found interesting about Berlin was that they had these little golden blocks among the cobble stones outside of some of the older buildings. When you take a closer look, you see that there is writing engraved in the blocks, explaining that there was a Jewish person that lived there. It then  goes on to explain when they were born, when they died, and if they were sent to a concentration camp or not. It was the kind of information one would find intriguing, but at the same time it chills your bones; thinking that you are standing among cobble stone streets that once was marched upon by persecuted people. I felt the same way when walking through the Holocaust Memorial. It is outside, and consists of  large gray slabs that rise out of the ground in all different sizes. It occupies about 250,000 sq. feet just outside of where Hitler's bunker is buried and the Brandenburg Castle. It makes you feel so lost when you walk through the maze... It helps to convey the terror most people felt during that awful time.

Another thing I loved about Berlin was all the street art. The picture below is a good example of how ALL the streets look.. they are covered in posters, graffiti and paint. It was really cool to see, and it made the city less dreary in a way. I also loved all the Christmas decorations. We went to several Christmas markets while we were there, and it was so fun! It really helped me get in the Christmas spirit , even though there was no snow. At one of the markets, we bought Glühwein (gløgg in Danish), which is a spiced wine served warm. It was very "hyggeligt" (cozy) to sit and talk while drinking it.

Apart from all the tremendous history, we also did some shopping. I am proud to say that I have purchased my very first pair of Doc Martens and I am in LOVE. They are the best boots I have ever worn. We also went to a restaurant in Berlin called Unsicht-Bar. It was a really special restaurant because you are forced to participate in 'blind eating'. This is means that you eat in the COMPLETE darkness! At first, you go into this dimly lit modern looking bar area where you can hang your coat and such. Then, you are given a menu and you can choose between 4 kinds of dishes: Poultry, Beef, Vegetarian, or Fish. Once you choose, you are not allowed to know what the dish actually is.. they just give you a riddle for each course. After you have chosen, you get to meet your waiter (all the waiters employed there are blind). Then, you are instructed to all hold hands and then you are taken into a pitch black room. It SOUNDED like a real restaurant; loud chatter, the clanking of forks against plates, and the scraping of chairs being moved. But everything around you was completely black. The waiter shows you to your table, shows you where your fork and knife are, where your glass is and so on. It was the most incredible feeling I've ever experienced. And to tell you the truth, I still don't know what I had for dinner that night (I never quite solved the riddle on the menu), but I know it was some sort of spiced beef.

I am so thankful for all my host families and all the amazing experiences they've shared with me. I am truly blessed to have 3 families that love me, and do all these amazing things for me. Berlin was wonderful, but what it made it something I will never forget was that I got to spend it with my second host family. Trips like that really help you bond, and I can say after being stuck in traffic for a little more than 3 hours, I know my new family pretty well! Thank you to everyone who reads this, and an even bigger thank you to all my families: Charlotte & Jesper, Annemette & Ole, Gitte & Kim, and of course my Mom & Dad. Love you all!

xoxo fra Denmark

P.S. Stay tuned to hear about a Danish Christmas!

Living in a Fairytale

Hello world,

It seems as though my presence has been missed... I have received numerous requests to update my blog so here it is:


Last time I left you with the impression that things were really starting to get good for me. And I am happy to report that that is still VERY much true! It is still so surprising to me how fast this year is going. I see the months change in color; green to yellow, Orange to deep crimson red and now recently a misty frost that leaves me with the feeling that I am in some enchanted fairytale. I think Denmark has a kind of quality that leaves you feeling like you live among make believe creatures.. it must be the gigantic ancient castles and churches. Or possibly the Viking ruins that litter family farms in the country side. Whatever  it is, I have decided that this place is magical, and I am now finding it completely possible to fall in love with a country and its people.

I promised to tell you all about my trip to Sweden... no worries! It was fun. It was a weekend trip; short and sweet. We stayed at my host uncle's house. I have  a few major details about Sweden that I will never forget. For starters, you have to take the ferry from Denmark to Sweden, and to my surprise there really isn't any specific law about gambling.. So if you walk into the gambling area, you can find ten year olds playing on the slot machines. Also, Swedish is a very beautiful language. It's alot like Danish, and the Danes can actually understand Swedish pretty well. But when they speak it's almost like they are singing... Whereas Danish just sounds like you have a potatoe in your mouth and your choking. Anyway, Sweden was lovely and I'm glad I got to experience it.

Another major thing that has happened to me recently is that I switched host families. It was very strange knowing that I would have to start complelty over again; new people, habits & routines, and a new room. It was also a little unnerving knowing I would never live with my first host family again.. I hope they get the chance to read this, because they were so amazing to me. I was blessed to get to know the Pedersen family; they are so kind and they made me feel right at home from the moment I came to Denmark. I miss them, but my new family is equally grand. I'm all settled into my new room as of now, and I LOVE it! But just FYI: having to pack up an entire room is a miserable task. I came to Denmark with two suitcases, and I left my first host family with three times that much.. I don't know how I'll get it all home!








To end this post, I thought I'd tell you about the article I was in for a magazine I. My town in Denmark. A journalist called me a few weeks ago and asked if she could interview me for a spread they were doing for Christmas. She wanted me to make my favorite Christmas dish and tell her about my Christmas traditions from Alaska. I thought it would be a small article and in one of those cheap magazines that you can find next to the flyers at the grocery store. But to my surprise, it was a ful page article with a fairly large size picture of me in the middle. She even included the story I told her about how my first time on the bus here in Denmark was a big ordeal for me (I've written about it in a previous post). And because of the article, all my classmates and friends from school have been messaging and calling me saying "Hey! You're in the magazine!" It's amazing what one magazine can do in a small town like Silkeborg, and I'm so thankful I get to be a part of it!

So Much to Say, So Little Post Space...

Hello all!

I'd like to start off this post by saying that my blog has reached almost 2,000 page views! Thank you to all my wonderful viewers! It's nice to know people actually enjoy reading about my many adventures.

Next, I'd like to apologize for not updating lately... I have been SUPER busy! But I promise I have a lot of exciting stories to tell.. it's been an interesting few weeks!

After the break, Danish students are supposed to pick a "career line", which basically means that they get to choose a career path that they think they might like, and then the school puts them in a class where the subjects match with the career path. This happens to all the first years, and since my school changed their Exchange Student policy last year, I am part of the first years too. All of the Danish students got the classes they wanted, but the previous class I was in became too full, so I was switched to another class. I was pretty upset because I had just started to make friends in my old class, and then I had to start all over again in a new class where I didn't  know anyone. The first couple days were very hard for me, but I had to keep reminding myself that exchange is about challenges, and facing those challenges will make you a more successful person in the future.

 After the first week back at school, I was invited to a Halloween Get Together for all of the Rotary Youth  exchange students in Denmark... it was a blast! My host family was kind enough to take me there by ferry, which is something I've never done before! All the exchange students  stayed at a school in a town called Holbæk, which is just an hour or so outside of Copenhagen. We carved pumpkins, got to explore the town, dressed up in costumes for the big Halloween Dinner, and then we had a Halloween dance where we didn't stop dancing until well past midnight.  It's a wonderful feeling being with other exchange students because  they understand exactly what you're going through, because they are going through it too. I am happy to say that I have over 200 people that I wouldn't  even hesitate to call my family.. afterall, we stick together through everything, and that's what families do, right?

 

 

                                                                               

 

 

 

When I got home from my Rotary weekend, I was invited to go on a class trip on Monday. It was a Hyttetur, which translated means a Cabin Tour. My entire class of 25 was going to bike together in the woods to this cute Little cabin where we would spend the night and do some quality bonding. I was pretty excited about it.. Until I realized how far we would have to bike. It was 9 km ( 6 miles) to the cabin from the school, and we all had to somehow meet up at the school before we left together. Well, the place I am living at right now is a 45 minute bike ride to school (if you are fast). I had to borrow my host sisters' bike, which is a Little too big for me so I was hobbling around trying not to fall off, and I ended up getting myself horribly, horribly lost... I ended up in a totally different town! And of course, I had forgotten my phone so there was no way for me to contact anyone. I finally managed to find my way to school after about an hour and a half, and I was soaked because a very unfriendly semi driver decided to soak me with a puddle. When I pulled up to school, my entire class was waiting for me. They all thought I had slept in, so I had to kindly inform them of my adventures of the morning. After some calculating, I figured out I probably biked close to 22 miles altogether in just one day... Anyway, the cabin retreat was loads of fun. We played different acitvities, cooked dinner together, and even made homemade bread over the fire. It was great for me to bond with my new class, and after that trip I can say I am pretty comfortable with everything at the moment.

 

To end this long post on a good note, I decided that I should inform you all that I had a dream in Danish last night. Yes. IN DANISH! I have been waiting for this moment ever since I stepped off the plane in Billund, Denmark. After talking to countless past exchange students, I am well aware that the first dream you have in your host language is very special because it marks a point where you are finally able to somewhat understand what people are saying to you.

 

 

I hope all of you get the chance to dream in Danish one day :)

 

 

P.S: I am going to Sweden to vist my host dad's brother this weekend.. stay tuned for posts and pictures about my trip!

 

 

xoxo fra Danmark

 



Efterårsferien (Autumn Break)

Good news... Autumn break was everything I thought it would be plus a little more :) It was relaxing on some days, and other days I was so busy I'm surprised I even had time to breathe! To inform you of my whereabouts of the past week, I think I'll give you some of the highlights:

• After school on Friday I had been planning on going to my friend Sarah's house for the night. My host mom was out with a friend, so I decided to take the bus. If you know me I'm always late.. and I mean ALWAYS. So of course, I miss the bus to the city. I'm sitting there, waiting for the next bus when an elderly couple comes over to me and they start talking to me in Danish. I kindly told them that I don't speak Danish that well, so they were then very interested in where I come from and blah blah blah. Long story short, I ended up having a 20 minute conversation with a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses about how Alaska is most certainly NOT Canada and is in fact part of the United States. The were perfectly nice people (although they should have probably brushed up on their geopgraphy skills) and I can honestly say it was the first time I've ever had a conversation with a Jehovah's Witness.. It just shows you who you can meet on the bus! Anyway, I ended up having a great time at my friend Sarah's house, who is just awesome :) She has been so great to me since I've came here, and I am really grateful for our friendship
• On Saturday I went to a class get together. Because I'm a first year, we have to pick our career paths so that we can have specific classes after autumn break. Some of my classmates are changes classes, so it was a great way to celebrate being together.
• relaxing days in my pajamas watching Gossip Girl
•  I went to Århus for the day with some of my host family's friends that were staying with us. We window shopped, and went out to a Cafe. Tuesday night we all traveled to Copenhagen for the big adventure, which took 4 hours actually.
•  My host mom and I stayed together in her company's apartment in Copenhagen. My host dad was at work, my host sister was in Dubai with her shool, and my host brother was in Turkey with his school as well. So it was just the two of us. Wednesday was a great day. We went site seeing all over Copenhagen. I got to see the Rosenberg Castle, the Royal Family's Crown Jewels, King's Garden, the parliment, the Danish stalk market Building, the Queen's Castle and I got to go on a Canal tour... And I was lucky enough to be accompanied by my friend Andrew who is an exchange student from the U.S who met up with us in Copenhagen.
• I got to fly in the cockpit to Switzerland which was AMAZING! I got my own headset, so I could hear other pilots and the control towers. It was a very clear day so I got to see the Alps when we were coming into Switzerland.
• I went to one of the oldest amusement parks called Tivoli, which was so much fun
• On one of the last days of break , I got to spend the night with my third host parents, who made a lovely dinner for me and then watched Slumdog Millionaire with me. It was a fantastic night :)

That pretty much sums up my week :) I posted some pictures... In order they are: The Rosenberg Castle, the Crown Jewels, a room in the Rosenberg Castle, the Crown, parliment building, and an old ship from the Canal tour. Enjoy!